Saturday, August 7, 2010

Assignment Complete.


Long time no blog. I checked in on this thing on a whim and saw that we had a bunch of spam comments on our posts from a foreign land. Because i can't read the banalities of what they wrote, i have decided to be flattered. Anyway I'm posting something just because I've always been a sucker for closure. And having the last word...twice!

I am no longer in Chicago because I took a chance on taking a chance and moved to NYC. So now Kate and I are even farther apart. Kate is somewhere. Kate where are you? We'll find each other somewhere soon. Somewhere magical, but probably on the internet because plane tickets are really expensive these days. Maybe this blog will evolve into something new.

Actually, that's a pretty good assignment. Decide what's next.

And if any of you are really bored may i humbly direct you to my new tumblr about the trials and tribulations of a lincoln park trixie during the apocalypse. You can take the girl out of Chicago...

Plugging away into the void,
Laura. August. 2010.
The end.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

cartography lessons.

Rule Number One of Cartography School: Always spell check your maps before you publish them, idiot. The real name on my Map was meant to be "Quandaryville" which is the state in which i currently reside, famous for its unending perplexities and wide array of sugary snacks. Currently on rotation: Doughnuts, Banana Bread or Swedish Fish? But then again, when I really think about it, I'd prefer it to be pronouced "kwan-dree-ville" because, well, I just like how that sounds better, I mean, I think it sounds better than "kwan-duh-ree-ville," yeah, because the "duh" makes it sound like there is an OBVIOUS answer hidden in there somewhere, which--and I have looked for it--there is NOT! So maybe my lack of proofreading skills resulted in a fruitful omission after all. Should i retake the photos or leave them, then? Another Quandary. Thanks, Quandryville.

(I'm not sad. I'm just on the phone. Wondering.)

Where am I?
Tomorrow i am going home, to visit my Mom.
How is She?

Then I'll return to my apartment in Chicago.
Then, maybe, I'll come find you?

Friday, January 29, 2010

assignment 35: cartography

that's right, for this assignment i invoked a fourth grade vocabulary word!

i have been thinking a lot lately about "WHERE I AM AT" that elusive, half literal, half metaphorical statement which bears down on you like a mindfuck.

also i have been spending 30 minutes every day at the park district on an elliptical machine amongst mothers who have recently delivered their babies, and old couples in winter boots and khaki pants arguing over the stationary bikes, wondering "why am i here?"

because maybe you don't have any reason to be here at all.
you adorable little nobody, you.
or maybe there is a less depressing answer but i just don't know what it is yet.

enter the assignment. brush up on your cartography skills and make a map.
show each other where you are at.

that's all.

deadline: next sunday by midnight.
punishment: pick a random place on a map, drive there, purchase a souvenir and send it to the other person.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Fort Laura


We all need shelter.
Always literally, sometimes metaphorically.
Right now, I'll take both.
This is my fort.

Purpose of the fort: To HIDE. from EVERYTHING.

Materials: 1 down filled snow man and happy reindeer blanket
1 plastic cylinder that I won at a white elephant filled with a yard of licorice (used as reinforcement)
1 Adidas sweatband
1 Von Maur Box top (converted into a flag)

Notice I got an award on the flag for perfect attendance.

In the fort I may or may not be doing part time data entry, and I may or may not love it.

And I may or may not be sad, and I may or may not have hope despite it all, and I may or may not be listening to this song from the new spoon album, which snuck up on me quietly, like good things seem to do these days.

The point is you don't know what I am doing, do you, because I am hiding.
But when I come out from underneath there, I may be the Big Bad Wolf come to check out the scene.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Fort Kate

Yeah... this is the phone in to end all phone ins but that's because my week has changed and I have to get home tomorrow for a sad reason.

But this blog isn't about sadness, it's about creativity. Here is my fort.

Raw materials: Desk, sweater
Purpose: Hiding at work from work.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Assignment 35: UGH!

Okay I'm just off to a bad blog start. In a few short hours I am supposed to be on a plane to Philadelphia for a 36 hour stay. I am not packed, this assignment is late and I have no creativity right now- I'm just trying to figure out how to get to Cherry Hill New Jersey once I land in Philly.
That all being said, I have a teacher-like obligation to give an assignment. WE MUST BLOG!

Assignment: Build a fort. Use it for some purpose (the fort where you eat snacks?). Blog about it.

Punishment: Well the first punishment is you don't get to build a fort and forts are fun so you are not having fun. Boom. The second punishment: Don't wash your hands all day. Video tape yourself licking them at the end of said day.

Due Date: Sunday the 23rd. Midnight.

Monday, January 11, 2010

My first punishment...

.... I can't believe it. I just completely forgot to DO the assignment. Here I am, incurring my first blog punishment... for the easiest assignment ever. 2010, how I am failing in thee!!!
Without further ado... 5 things I unabashedly love about Garfield the Cat.

1. Sardonic voice.

2. When I was little, I learned from him that if you wanted to pretend to brush your teeth, you just move the brush along the edge of the bathroom counter to make the noise. Rene and I tried it... parents FOOLED.

3. Looks so cozy in that box he sleeps in with his blanket.

4. Adorable rump.

5. Suction-cup-hands-car-paraphenalia (Sp?) makes for a classy and hilarious car.