Assignment 3: Calvin Klein can suCK it.

Dear Tyra Pond... ready for another assignment? Here goes.

Laura, you were just out in LA to shoot a commercial. We had some discussions about advertising due to that fact (we also ate room service and drank wine with Martha in front of a fireplace in a nice ass hotel you got put up in... can I assign a repeat of that?).

So our discussions then, along with the thousands of billboards I drive past every day* ^, has made me think about the crazy and awesome world of ADVERTISING. *Please note that the sides of buildings are fair ground in terms of ad space in the LA LA. ^Also some ads are digital and make me want to crash my car because I would rather watch "that really big TV on the side of that building".

L, you may not be an architect and I may not be a CEO, but I think we could be better ad men


than the geniuses who are paid to take black and white pictures of really stupidly skinny and beautiful people. Who even wants to look at that!?

My issue with ads are that they are taken of people doing unreal things. Take this one for example.
I never get dressed only from the waist down, put on boots and pray while wearing a tiara.

My bigger issue is that ads don't advertise the things that they are... well... advertising. This one. What would you guess this one is for?

It is not in fact to promote "eating ass", rather it is for jeans. Rainy, being-taken-off-with-a-mouth jeans. And this one?

Surprisingly it's not for "Look Exactly Like a Topless Keri Russel". It's actually an ad for the CLOTHING line Abercrombie and Fitch.

In essence they are advertising normal things with out of control photos. We're gonna FLIP IT ON THEM MOTHAS! Normal pictures, out of control things for sale.

THE ASSIGNMENT: Take 5 pictures of yourself (or have someone take them for you) doing things that you really do in a week. Try to pick things you do pretty regularly- they can be totally banal. These are your "ads". You will post these ads along with a logline of what you are advertising. The pictures are of you, but the product (or concept) you are advetising is very far removed from you. Advertise things that you personally would never have anything to do with.

DEADLINE: Sunday, January 25th. 11:59pm. YOUR 11:59.

PUNISHMENT: For missing the not-set-as-of-now deadline- SHAKY FACE!