Saturday, March 21, 2009

Assignment 10 Completed: Fuck Fear Factor!

I cleaned my plate (baked potato demolished later). But what did I clean it of....

This assignment was like fear factor for me. Eat something I've never eaten before? Shit. That's fish. Do I go for the thing that I am the most scared of? Yes... or else Laura will make me lick my shoe.

BACKSTORY/BEFORE: Remember that scene in Amelie? Not 15 women having concurrent orgasms, nay. The goldfish bouncing around on the floor?

That happened to me circa kindergarten. Stevie Tagmeier took his black goldfish out of its tank and made me hold it. But it didn't want to be held. It wanted to bounce on the floor. From that day forward (read: even 27 year old Kate) I was deathly afraid of fish. Especially the ones that look like fish. If they are neon with horns and we cannot eat them, I am less scared of them. Scared how? Like used to dream about opening a closet and fish came pouring out on me.
My fear was only compounded when in my tweens I was taken to a place in Colorado called The Trout Haven(, where you catch your own fish and then they grill them for you. Mine wouldn't die when I caught it, so the boy who was running the pond (and I say boy because he was between 8 and 14... you can't tell in Colorado) took a wooden cylinder out of his belt and beat the fish over the head until blood came out of its eye sockets and it died. Needless to say, my ever-present fear of fish translated into me never eating them. Gag reflex and chill bumps ensued if I even tried.
THE Story/ After: I will eat fish!

A coworker and I go to a place she swears has the best fish we can get. I order the white fish, she orders the sea bass. She is willing to switch if I like hers better (foreshadowing!).

I take a bite of the white fish.

The white fish still tastes a bit like fish. I picture the goldfish on the ground and blood out of eye sockets. Chill bumps.
I take a bite of seabass. I.... dare I say it... don't hate it.
We switch. Sucker! She has to eat the white fish.
I will eat her seabass.
Another co-worker gives me a bite of salmon.
Bitch! That was really pushing it!

I finish the seabass. [Please see first picture] All gone. I don't hate fish! Laura's assignment fixed me!
I find out later that seabass are endangered and I am an asshole for eating one.


  1. kate.
    i am proud of you for eating fish.
    also i love your haircut. you look like a young, less drugged out but equally hot(hotter even!) fish-eating version of marianne faithful.

    check it out, you're not wearing pants!

  2. Me likey!!! You're wrong though- I am equally drugged out. I just got through smoking some cocaine and... eating heroine. AND I totally snorted Robitussin. Boom!