Saturday, March 21, 2009

assignment ten: complete

as you can see above i decided to go in the "weird fruit" direction for this assignment.
my before and after story will closely follow the scientific method.

weird, tropical, beautiful, kooky looking fruit will taste delicious and transport me to another, more exotic place. sensory teleportation of the tropical pursuasion. it will also make me a better poet. i am a fool for not eating one already.

--1 kiwano: the orange, spiny, porcupiney specimin you see above. it is from new zealand.
--1 star fruit: the less scary looking orange fruit with browning edges. its fancy name is carambola and it grows on the branches of trees in places like indonesia and hawaii (USA!)

step 1: go on the internet. find out a recipie or just a webpage that describes how to cut it without poisoning myself.
step 2: eat fruit.

observation 1a (via the internet): it turns out the kiwano is a fruit that is mainly grown for decorative purposes. huh? anyway the insides are full of neon green nikelodeon gak and seeds and it tastes vaguely like a cucumber. but it lasts for a really long time on that gourd shelf you have created for your bathroom, next to the potpourri canister adorned with teddy bears. you know you have a gourd shelf, dont lie.

observation 1b (via the internet): the star fruit, on the other hand, is supposed to be delicious, full of anti-oxidants, and a fancy garnish that will help you win friends and influence people when you serve cakes at dinner parties.

observation 1c (from real life): unfortunately the kiwano fruit, probably jealous of the star fruits superior ratings on the internet took the opportunity to puncture my star fruit in the grocery bag, speeding up the ripening process and bruising the shit out of it. the star fruit denied all wrongdoing and insisted that it simply "fell down the stairs."

observation 1d: don't mess with daddy kiwano.

observation 1e: despite domestic abuse, star fruit still decidedly cute.

step 2: i ate star fruit with some yogart for breakfast.

screw you kiwano. you are all flash and no substance. (i will display you on my gourd shelf.)
re: star fruit. i will keep you in mind if i ever need glazed fruit as a fancy cake garnish, but otherwise, meh. maybe you were overripe.

laura like bananas.
also, pretty things on the outside are not always worthy of poetry.

the end.

1 comment:

  1. Star fruit DECIDEDLY cute! "I fell down the stairs" of course brought back memories of The Wet Holes. Unrelated- I told Dicky tonight about your genuis cymbals sketch. I hope you have gotten to do that since. I always voted for it....